The 205 Humorous Birthday Wishes

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Modified: December 1, 2021, Published: June 10, 2019

In the lively realm of birthday celebrations, where laughter takes center stage, it’s time to delve into “The 205 Humorous Birthday Wishes.” These whimsical and witty wishes are crafted to infuse your special day with mirth and amusement. Whether you’re the one turning a year older or you’re here to share a hearty chuckle with a friend, these lighthearted greetings are designed to tickle your funny bone. In this delightful collection, you’ll find a plethora of playful and comical messages that are sure to bring smiles to faces young and old.

Another year older and wiser? Well, we can’t do much about the age, but the wisdom is optional. Happy Birthday!

They say age is just a number. Well, in that case, let’s skip the number and focus on the cake. Happy Birthday!

Remember, you’re not getting older; you’re just getting closer to the age when the candles cost more than the cake. Have a fantastic birthday!

Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Just kidding, you’re timeless!

Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. So, let’s keep the world happy for many more years to come. Happy Birthday!

Don’t worry about getting older; you’re still not as old as your jokes! Have a hilariously happy birthday!

On your special day, I thought about giving you the best gift ever, but then I remembered you already have me. You’re welcome, and happy birthday!

Here’s to you on your special day! May your day be filled with love, laughter, and enough cake to put a smile on your face… and maybe a few extra pounds on your hips.

You’re not old; you’re just well-aged like a fine wine or a classic cheese. Cheers to another year of aging gracefully!

Happy birthday! May your day be filled with so much laughter that your cheeks hurt, and you forget about your age entirely.

Growing older is mandatory, but growing up is optional. You, my friend, have mastered the art of staying forever young. Happy Birthday!

Congratulations on reaching an age where your back goes out more often than you do. Have a fabulous birthday, and remember to stretch!

Age is just a reminder of all the incredible experiences you’ve had in life. So, here’s to adding another year to your list of epic adventures. Happy Birthday!

Another year, another wrinkle… but who’s counting? Not us! Have a fabulous and wrinkle-free birthday!

Happy Birthday! You’re not getting older; you’re just increasing in value, like a fine vintage wine.

They say with age comes wisdom. So, by now, you must be the wisest person we know… or at least the most experienced at pretending to be wise. Have a great birthday!

Don’t worry about your age; you’re still younger than your next birthday. Enjoy it while it lasts!

As you blow out the candles on your cake, remember that age is merely a number. A really, really big number! Happy Birthday!

You’ve reached an age where your back goes out more often than you do. Happy Birthday, and remember to stretch before attempting to blow out those candles!

Here’s to celebrating the anniversary of your epic escape from the womb. Congratulations, you’ve successfully adulted for another year!

Age is just a number, and in your case, it’s an impressively high one! Happy Birthday, you age-defying legend!

Happy Birthday! You know you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the cake. But hey, who’s counting candles when there’s cake involved?

Another year older means another year wiser… and closer to retirement! Cheers to the wisdom that comes with age, and here’s to many more great years ahead!

Happy Birthday! Remember, you’re not getting older; you’re just getting one step closer to becoming the crazy cat person you’ve always wanted to be.

Aging is mandatory, but growing up is entirely optional. Stay young at heart and keep the laughter coming. Happy Birthday!

You’re not old; you’re just retro! Wishing you a vintage year ahead filled with fun and laughter.

Congratulations on surviving another trip around the sun! May this year bring you even more reasons to celebrate and laugh.

Age is merely the number of years the world has been blessed with your presence. So, let’s make every moment count. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! Remember, you’re not old; you’re just chronologically gifted.

Here’s to another year of looking and feeling young at heart. Age is just a state of mind, and yours is set to “forever young.” Happy Birthday!

I was trying to look for something that will symbolize your maturity in this life, but all I can think of are antiques and fossils that are probably only available in museums, so I’m just going to greet you a very old, I mean happy birthday!

You are an amazing human being and you only deserve the most amazing gift in the world. I cannot think of a better present though than myself, so I guess you’ll receiving an unwrapped one today. Happy birthday!

On your birthday, I have two confessions. First is, don’t you know that I always look up to you? By look up, I mean literally look up because you are way taller and older! Second is, I always wanted to tell you to cut your hair nose. I can see it from below. Best birthday, pal!

You always tell me to go after my dreams. It makes me wonder, is getting old your obsession? Because I always see you chase for those gray hair. Happy birthday!

I thought we promised each other that we will be as youthful as we can. How dare you break that promise and be a grumpy old man? Cheers to being wrinkled and crumpled.

You should probably take your time to eat all the crunchy food in the world, because with your age, your teeth are not going to last longer than next year.

On your birthday, I want to remind you to believe everything that you want in life so they can manifest abundantly. I also would like to reiterate that wishing to be young again is impossible so don’t even think about it!

Birthday Wishes

I’m excited to celebrate your birthday but I’m also scared that you’ll catch fire with those number of candles on your cake. So I’m calling in firefighters just to be prepared. Happy birthday to my retired friend.

Happy birthday, chum! Make sure to grow up as you grow old. You may be adding in numbers but your maturity stays the same. Well at least you are not that old grumpy geezer.

I am always fascinated with dinosaurs and ancient stuff since I was a kid. Maybe that is the reason why I chose you as my friend. Happy birthday to my fossil old man!

I think it is time for you to switch from alcohol and cocktails to kombucha and smoothies. After all, your body is not getting any younger. Happy birthday, pal!

The 200+ Happy Birthday Son from Mom

You may not admit it to us, but it is evident that every time you add another year to your age, you also add another wrinkle to your face. May you have a happy ancient birthday!

I thought being older equates to being smarter. I guess not for you pal! Anyways, cheers to one more year of being alive!

I want to give you a very expensive birthday gift but I remembered I’m broke so I’m just going to wish you with more important things in life such as love and happiness. Happy birthday cheap punk!

As you add another year to your age, your body is also adding another weight on your back. Good luck! Maybe I should gift you a massage voucher. Happy birthday!

The 210 Happy Birthday Little Sister Quotes and Wishes

Please tell your maintenance guy to turn off all the fire alarms in your house. We cannot risk sending a false alarm to the fire department for that much birthday candles on your cake. Have a blast!

Best birthday to my oldest friend ever! Just be thankful that you are not as old as next year’s age because that would be ancient!

I know that you have the dirtiest thoughts amongst us friends so my wish for your birthday is for you to have a clean mind you filthy old guy! Best birthday!

I know how much you hate your age now but just remember that it’s always better to be old and alive than young and dead. Happy birthday!

Forget about your age, just remember that being above the ground is better than being buried below. Have a very happy birthday!

Hooray! It’s your birthday once again! I wonder how many birthdays are you going to have because I’m losing count now. Have the best birthday anyway!

Does having more birthdays means more snot in your nose? Because you look like you are catching your breath. I bet it’s not easy being old. Happy birthday!

I’m scared for my life because of the number of candles on your birthday cake. Maybe I should call all the fire fighters I know.

Congratulations! You are now 40 and still snappy! That is a big accomplishment. Happiest birthday to you!

Belated happy birthday to the oldest person I know who is still alive up to this date. You’re so old that you can pass as one of the subjects in history class. Have a blast but take care of your weak bones.

I wonder why it is so hot in here, then I realized the reason is the countless number of candles on your cake. Have an incredible birthday today!

Too much birthdays can lead to death day, but who cares? Let’s enjoy this special day of yours. Best birthday, pal!

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Do not pretend that you are wiser just because you became older. You are still the same dumb friend that we have. Happy birthday!

When you were brought into this world, all the dinosaurs around may have been so happy for seeing the first human on the planet. Ancient birthday to you!

I bet you already forgot how it feels to be youthful, healthy, and full of energy. It has been a long time since you experienced it so I understand. Have the best birthday old guy!

Cheers to turning 41! I know you will now start to forget a lot of things but don’t worry, my sharp mind will take care of reminding you stuff you forgot. Being friends with younger generation pays off! Happy birthday.

The fire department is now ready to be called in anytime, so let’s start lighting your birthday candles and make that wish! Happy birthday!

On your birthday, I’m giving you the chance to think about all the good wishes you want to receive, then imagine me just telling you that. We are way past giving presents! Happy birthday!

I remembered that moment when the candle shop caught fire, everyone was singing happy birthday to someone. It’s completely the same as this day. Best birthday!

Everyone gets old, you are just the first one to get there. Just think of it as an achievement. You won the race of who will have the first gray hair. Happy birthday anyway!

You are going to adore your looks at fifty but only once you reached sixty. Have an incredible birthday!

I only have one wish on your birthday, that is for you to live a long life. Just do not mind how long it will be. Here’s to many years of blowing candles.

Best birthday to the only person I know who will live forever with gray hair and no teeth. We need to celebrate now that you have a few left.

I know it is unfair that guys like me age like wine while girls like you age like cheese. Just accept it as it is. Happiest birthday!

For safety reasons, I have alerted the fire fighter team just in case those tons of birthday candles catch a fire in your house! Happy birthday and you’re welcome!

As I was looking at you the other day, I remembered the feeling of looking at a fossil. Thank you for making me feel like I am in a museum. Happy birthday!

Here’s to being older and knowing better! Just think about your old age that way. Best birthday to you!

Stop frowning! You do not have much time and teeth left to smile the same way you can smile today. Happy birthday!

Cheers to another year wasted. May you finally have a meaningful life. Wonderful birthday to you!

Do not be afraid of dying yet because it is only the kind hearted people who die early. You are very much safe! To my bad ass friend, best birthday!

With each year that passes, a person’s health and body deteriorates. Not for you, because you are the best man in the world. Have a wonderful birthday!

You do not look old so do not worry, you just smell old. But hey! It is not a bad thing, just like alcohol and wine, the older, the better. Happy birthday!

To my best buddy, I promise to make you laugh the hardest today because there’s not much years left for your teeth to stay intact with your gums! Happy birthday!

Whenever you are feeling sad and so low, just think of the chance to smile nicely today. Your teeth will probably not stay for too long so take every chances. Have an incredible birthday!

Today, let me just remind you that this is the highest age you have reached so far. Best of luck for being old and grumpy!

Here’s a friendly advice, please get a massive birthday cake next time because there is not much space for additional candles anymore! Happy birthday!

People say that great friends never forget your birthday but never remember your age. I am your best friend but I remember both! So I guess what they say is not true. Happy birthday!

If your birthday tends to be awful and sad, just think that the next birthdays will be better. If it happens every year, then I’m sorry, you are old as dirt. Happy birthday!

It is a good thing that getting old makes you forget about things. Just pray that the first thing you forget is your age or maybe how to count, to make your life easier. Happy birthday!

You are the only person I know who hates birthdays. Maybe because you are also the oldest person I met. May you live a long life full of strange presents and loving people like me. Happy birthday!

Do not mind your age even if it is ancient, you look so much younger than your number. Have a stunning birthday, gorgeous!

You have been living in this world for more than 50 years, and I know that you are aware there’s not much of good people left. So I would like to congratulate you for having a great friend like me. Happy birthday!

Your birthday is so special that a lot of well-known people are born on the same date. You just got a bit of unlucky for being ordinary. Still, you’re the greatest friend in the world. Happy birthday!

If being older means being wiser, then you are probably the smartest man on the planet. I wish for an incredible birthday, old man!

It is fine for a man to still be single at thirties, but for a woman, it is a different story. So hurry! Your clock is ticking! Happy birthday!

They say that time is the best healer, but it sure is the worst groomer. May you have a beautiful birthday!

Our friendship made me lie to other people about your age, but that’s okay. I’ll keep your deepest secret to my grave. Best birthday to my greatest buddy!

I always admire your calmness and peace. Most people your age are already cranky and short-tempered but you, you do not care about how old you get. Have a happy birthday!

They say that the most obvious sign of old age is intelligence, but it does not really show on you! Have a happy birthday!

I know that you are reaching towards the end of your life, and I know too well that you do not want to be reminded of this topic. Peace and happy birthday!

There is a saying that what goes up must come down. I do not understand why your age just keeps on going up. In a few years, you’ll reach the heavens! Have a magical birthday!

My wish for your birthday is a bigger cake to fit all of your candles and healthier lungs to blow all of it. Happy birthday!

If only you can have birthdays all year round so we can celebrate it every day. Best birthday!

If there is a food I can compare you to, that would be cheese. The more it gets old the smellier it is. May you have a fragrant birthday today!

You have all the reasons to celebrate your birthday. The main one is; you look exactly the way you’re supposed to look. Old and wrinkly! Happy birthday!

You may need an industrial fan to blow all your candles of. Best of luck on your birthday!

Today, you have the right to act and pretend a lot younger than your age. Happy birthday!

Do not mind being called immature. Stay as youthful and wild as you are. Best birthday!

This special day of yours, you are seriously going to spend more for your birthday candles than your cake. Congratulations, you are officially old! Have a blessed birthday!

I do not want to believe when other people say that you are already old until I saw you work out by taking the stairs instead of the lift. Have an unforgettable birthday today!

When someone calls you an antique for being old, fight back with your walking stick and shoot them with your false teeth. You are an old man, that’s all you can do. Best birthday!

On your birthday, I hope that you’ll see things on a much bigger picture. That is only because your eyesight is getting worse. May you have an incredible birthday!

I cannot blame you for always forgetting your house keys. You are old and your brain may have been exhausted already. Anyway, may you have a birthday you will never forget!

The hair on your nose shows how old you are; they are more than the ones on your head! Cheers to trimming your hair nose from now on. Happy birthday!

I can hardly think of the best birthday present to you, then I had the idea to give you the gift of friendship and honesty, so here’s a mirror to see how old you truly look. Happy birthday!

Years ago, you preferred bars and beers over sleep overs. Now, you choose tea and sleep overs! You are definitely getting old. Have a youthful birthday!

You may be old, but just be grateful that your skin still looks as fabulous as it is years ago. To my beautiful but not so young friend, happy birthday!

Funniest humorous birthday wishes with pictures

In the delightful realm of birthday celebrations, where laughter reigns supreme, it’s time to unveil a collection that promises not only the wittiest and most humorous birthday wishes but also the added charm of whimsical pictures. Welcome to the world of “Funniest Humorous Birthday Wishes with Pictures.” This enchanting compilation marries the art of clever jests with the visual appeal of hilarious images to create a birthday experience like no other. Each wish in this collection is paired with an amusing picture, creating a delightful synergy of humor and creativity. Whether you’re here to find the perfect birthday greeting for a loved one or simply seeking a hearty laugh, these whimsical messages, accompanied by their comical counterparts, are sure to tickle your funny bone.

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Another year older, but don’t worry, you’re still not as old as that fruitcake we found in the back of the pantry. Happy Birthday!

Congrats on surviving another year! Now, let’s eat cake and pretend we’re adults. Happy Birthday!

Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. Keep spreading the joy! Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! You know you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the cake. But hey, who’s counting?

Remember, you’re not getting older; you’re leveling up! Cheers to another year of gaining experience points.

They say age is just a number. Well, in that case, let’s skip the number and focus on the cake. Happy Birthday!

Growing older is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Keep embracing your inner child. Happy Birthday!

Another year, another wrinkle… but who’s counting? Have a wrinkle-tastic birthday!

Age is merely the price we pay for the privilege of wisdom. So, here’s to being both wise and young at heart. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! You’re not getting older; you’re just increasing in value, like a limited-edition collectible.

As you blow out the candles, remember that age is just a number, and cake is just a delicious distraction from it. Enjoy both!

Congrats on reaching an age where your back goes out more often than you do. Have a fabulous birthday, and remember to stretch!

Here’s to you on your special day! May your day be filled with love, laughter, and enough cake to share with me.

They say with age comes wisdom. So, by now, you must be the wisest person we know… or at least the most experienced at pretending to be wise. Have a great birthday!

Don’t count the years; count the memories and the cake slices. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! Remember, you’re not getting older; you’re just one step closer to becoming the crazy cat person you’ve always wanted to be.

Congratulations on surviving another trip around the sun! May this year bring you even more reasons to celebrate and laugh.

Age is just a reminder of all the incredible experiences you’ve had in life. So, here’s to adding another year to your list of epic adventures. Happy Birthday!

Another year older means another year wiser… and closer to retirement! Cheers to the wisdom that comes with age, and here’s to many more great years ahead!

Happy Birthday! You know you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the cake. But hey, who’s counting candles when there’s cake involved?

Age is merely the number of years the world has been blessed with your presence. So, let’s make every moment count. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! Remember, you’re not old; you’re just chronologically gifted.

They say that age is simply a matter of attitude, and you’ve got the attitude of a teenager. Have a fantastic birthday, forever young one!

You’re not old; you’re just retro! Wishing you a vintage year ahead filled with fun and laughter.

Growing up is optional, and you’ve mastered the art of staying young at heart. Happy Birthday to the eternal kid in you!

The light on your birthday candles shine brighter than the stars. Only because they are too many. I thought you will stop at 50, but you are so competitive you lasted this long. Happy birthday to you!

You are like an artifact from the ancient civilizations – old but precious! Happy birthday!

Do not ever think that your birthday is a mistake. The only thing that does not match in your life is the way you look versus your actual age. Happy birthday, beautiful!

Stop worrying about how old you are today. Imagine your life 10 years after, that is when you need to worry. For now, we will celebrate! Happy birthday!

To my friend who always embodied the hashtag woke up like this, best birthday to you!

It looks like you put a cake on your candles and not candles on your cake, they are too many! Next year, please get a bigger one. Have an incredible birthday!

Age is just a number, you can still act and look youthful. You know what they say – fake it until you make it. Happiest birthday to my oldest pal!

Humorous birthday wishes list

Birthdays are a time for joy and celebration, and what better way to spread laughter than with these humorous wishes? Whether you’re searching for the perfect one-liner or a clever quip to brighten someone’s special day, this list has you covered. Each wish is crafted to tickle the funny bone and add a touch of hilarity to the festivities. So, let’s embark on this amusing journey through the Humorous Birthday Wishes list. Whether you’re looking to roast a friend with affectionate humor or simply want to spread some birthday cheer, you’ll find the perfect message here to make the celebration unforgettable. Get ready to laugh, celebrate, and share the joy!

Your age today is definitely older, but your looks are way better! Wonderful birthday!

To my friend who cannot take a bath without warm water anymore, happy birthday to you! May your knees be strong again!

Dearest best friend, on your birthday, we will pretend that the meaning of balanced diet is eating the same amount of cake, twice! May you have a birthday as fun as you are!

Aside from looking old, the most dangerous part of adding numbers to your age is the fact that you forget everything. So I will remind you today, it is your birthday!

How come you did not age much? You only look 150! You are way older than that!

Age is nothing but a number. Since you’re forgetful now, then it really doesn’t matter. Best birthday to you!

On this very special day of yours, I wish you the best health so you can eat up all your cake.

I believe it when people say that you get smarter with age. So I hope you have already figured out not to expect any present from me this year. Happy birthday!

To live a long life means you need to accept every wrinkle on your face and every foul smell you get to make. You are doing a great job at it! Happiest birthday my dear!

I know that you have more experience in life now that you are older. You should be handling disappointments really well too. So I didn’t bother to get you a gift. A simple happy birthday will be enough for you!

Here’s a toast to being the oldest man I ever know! You should be in world records. Happy birthday!

I have known you since we were kids. You are simple, modest, humble, and does not want luxurious things. So to make you happy, I have only prepared a birthday wish for you. Forget about the gift!

My gift on your birthday is eternal friendship. Not because it is sweet, but only because I do not want to spend buying you one. Happy birthday!

To the coolest guy in the university who always wear green pants and orange shoes. The one who does not care about getting a mullet hair cut or coloring it purple. Happy birthday to you!

Stop asking gifts from your friends on your birthday. How about give something for your mom for all the effort she put in raising up a trouble maker? Happy birthday!

Do not let anyone piss you off by calling you an old man. You are not old; you were just born centuries ago. Happy birthday!

If your skin is not too crumpled, I would have suggested you to just wear your birthday suit on this very special day. But since it is, then have the decency to cover up! Happy birthday!

Life has a funny way of returning you back to your old look – wrinkled and with a lot of folds on your body. May you have more birthdays and more crinkles!

Do you remember your life before when you could care less about anything? You can stay all day in your cot sleeping and not spend another step to go to the bathroom just to pee. I know you miss it but don’t worry, you are almost on that stage again. Happy birthday!

Do not be so happy every time there is an additional candle on your birthday cake. It only means that you’ll probably add another capsule to your medicine list. Healthy birthday!

I know that you are usually thinking about a lot of stuff and sometimes confused about your purpose in life. It is only normal to have a mid-life crisis, well at least we can pretend that you are normal for one day in a year. Happy birthday!

There is a huge debate on how dishonest a person can be when talking about age. I can vouch that you are the number one dishonest person when it comes to this! Best birthday!

In some countries, the older you are the more respect you get. It would be a good idea for you to move to those countries. You’ll be the most respected person alive. Happy birthday!

For some people, birthdays are reminders that their death day is coming. So to pay respect to them, I am no longer greeting you today. I’m just going to tell you that you are aging so well and gracefully.

Do you have any clue about legendary people who were born the same day as you do? Me neither. You are the only important people I know celebrating this day. Best birthday to you!

I do not care about politics. I do not belong to any parties except this birthday party of yours! To my amazing buddy, have an awesome birthday today!

You are the weirdest person I know for choosing to spend your birthday in the middle of the forest. I think your reason would be so that no one would notice you’ve added another year to your life. Have a great birthday and take care on your camping trip!

Some people like to remember moments of their existence during their birthdays. Please do not even bother, because it will take you months to reflect on some. Happy birthday!

On this day, I want to remind you that you are getting older and you have the choice to mature and grow up. I think you chose the other option. Have a fun birthday anyway.

It is so disappointing when you have realized that you are already old. It is because you cannot blame anyone for it. May you have a blast and just enjoy this day to the fullest!

I think old people have the best way to translate awful things to nicer words. Like, calling themselves mature instead of extinct. Have a wonderful classic birthday!

I am sorry I forgot to get you a present. My brain is celebrating with your age! Best birthday!

Every year, I kept on wishing for you to grow up. Well, you kept on getting older but your mind stays the same. Grow up! Have a magical birthday!

The best thing about being on your age is the senior citizen’s discount, so be grateful! May you have more thrifty years to come! Happy birthday!

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I understand that you do not find jokes about old age funny anymore. Only because you are in that stage of life where everything seems to be serious. So, here you go, just happy birthday!

I will try to always understand why you keep on forgetting where you put your keys. You are old and 50. It’s normal don’t worry. May you have a birthday celebration you will necer forget.

A beautiful smile, sparkling eyes, intelligent mind, and a kind heart. Happy birthday to you! By the way, I just described myself and not you!

Forget about your liver getting old, today is your birthday so we shall drink as much as we can handle. There’s a few more years left in your life, just enjoy it to the fullest! Happy birthday!

To my best friend and gym buddy, happy birthday to you! Please make a wish to us getting that six-pack abs! But only after we munch on your birthday cake.

If I was rich, I’ll bring you to the Caribbean for your birthday. Thank God I’m not! So just happy birthday to you!

It seems like you have changed a lot. I wonder if you get a new haircut, or if you put on some weight, or is that a new dress? Then I remembered, it is your birthday! You are just getting older!

I was thinking of a lot of luxurious things to buy for you on your birthday, but do not expect anything. I just like to keep my mind occupied. You will still get a greeting though, happy birthday!

I want to wish you all the good things in life but if all’s granted, then I will run out of things to wish you for on your next birthday. So, just have the best celebration today!

Sometimes I think if you are really a human or a wine. You just get better looking each year. Happy birthday!

You are so special and important that no material gift is worthy for you. I’m going to send you my best wishes instead and pray that you’ll get everything that you desire in this world. Happy birthday!

Celebrate, drink, eat up, and be merry! Today is your birthday, no diet should stop you! May you have the most luscious party ever!

I wish for your happiest birthday today and an even happier normal day tomorrow!

If you stop counting your age I guess you can deny that you are going through the aging transformation. So forget about 1,2,3, tonight, we will party! Happy birthday!

I was looking for your birthday cake then I realized, it was under those hundreds of candles. You definitely need to get a bigger one next year! Happy birthday old man!

I have to be honest with you, it seems like your new hobby is to forget things. You are also getting old and cranky! It was fun seeing you that way and tease you though! Happy birthday!

They say age comes with maturity and wisdom. I was actually looking for those two in you because you are old but I couldn’t find it. Oh well, maybe next year. Happy birthday!

This is a friendly reminder: start removing your year of birth from all social media channels. You are getting old and I’m sure you do not want everyone to know. Happy birthday!

To my brother from another mother, belated happy birthday! Sorry if I was the last one to greet you. I completely forgot that you are still living on this world. Have a blast!

When you thought you could get away with not giving me gift on my previous birthdays, it is now payback time. I have all the hugs and kisses for you. Just that, and a very happy birthday!

Now that you are older, we all feel relieved because it means you are in no shape to cause troubles anymore. You are weak and slow. It is the greatest blessing in disguise ever! Happy birthday buddy!

At first I thought you are just really independent, then I remembered how old you are. During your time, Google wasn’t born yet so you tried to solve your problems alone. Happy birthday ancient person!

When people ask for your age, do not answer them upfront. Make them use their brain and say I am 25 plus shipping fee and taxes. Happy birthday!

It has been your life long tradition to receive cakes for your birthday. Since you do not have that much time left in this world, I’ll bring vodka instead! You can throw your tradition away. Happy birthday, drunkard!

Wow! You look like you are younger than your actual age. You look 49 instead of 50! Congratulations on looking one year younger! Happy birthday.

Forget about how old you look like because we, your friends are looking at your young heart. Happy birthday!

As I recollect the previous years of us being friends, I remembered that you are the one who has the best smile in our circle. Now, you still smile the same but the only difference is, you smile without those teeth on. It doesn’t matter though. Happiest birthday!

Before you run out of breath, I have personally baked the most delicious cake you will ever taste in your whole life. That is how special you are. So take a bite before you die. Happy birthday!

You know I hate going to the malls and shop with the crowd. For your birthday, I will take you there myself not because you are special, but because I cannot stand you still wearing that style for the next years of your life. Happy birthday!

On your birthday, I’m giving you the greatest gift of all – an advice for your future birthday parties. Please order the largest cake in the world for it to show and not just the birthday candles. Happy birthday!

To the person who is scared of getting reminded of how old she/he is, happy happy happy happy 60th birthday to you!

I cannot imagine how sad you are with all these birthday cake and treats you cannot eat because of your doctor’s statute of limitation. On your next birthday, I suggest you give the guests just salad and tea. Happy birthday!

I heard someone say that aging is like an art. I thought of you and I whispered to myself, oh boy, my friend is an abstract! Happy birthday!

To my big brother, I want you to know how thankful I am that you are a part of my life. Without your spanks and punches, I wouldn’t be strong in this life. Happy birthday!

Forget about the size of the cake, no matter how big or small it is, it will not change the fact that you are getting old today. Happy birthday!

You know that I am competitive and I love to win, so today, I’ll be the first one to greet you a very happy birthday!

As you add another year to your life, I promise to be more careful about the jokes I am going to crack. It is because I know that the older you get, the more sensitive you are. Happy birthday, old hag!

I am only greeting you a happy birthday so you will not forget to get me a present since you know that my birthday is a day after yours. Happy birthday!

To my oldest friend, happy birthday! I think you have not realized how old you are yet so I will keep on reminding you each day. That is what good friends do!

You are getting closer to death so my advice for you is to be honest with other people and put a photo on your Facebook that looks like you. Happy birthday!

If people do not know your age, they will think that you are still young. It is not because you look youthful but because you act so childish! Happy birthday to my pain in the butt friend!

Your birthday is one of the most special occasions for me. But only next to Christmas, Halloween, my own birthday, New Year and Black Friday.

To my favorite sister, happy birthday! On this birthday of yours, I’m telling you the truth, you are not adopted! Gotcha!

If ever you think that you are matured and stunning now that you added another year to your age, I will constantly remind you of your awkward teenage phase. Happy birthday, sister!