170+ Sarcastic Birthday Wishes
Modified: November 26, 2021, Published: May 20, 2020
Armed with a collection of over 170 sarcastic birthday wishes, they are ready to inject a hearty dose of humor and sarcasm into the celebration of another trip around the sun. These unconventional greetings are designed to tickle the funny bone and leave a memorable impression on the birthday boy or girl. In a world where sincerity often takes center stage, our user revels in the art of playful jest and witty banter. They believe that birthdays should not only be about candles, cake, and cliché wishes but also an opportunity to share a laugh with friends and loved ones. With each sarcastic wish, they aim to deliver a humorous twist, poking fun at the inevitable march of time and the quirks that come with it.
Happy birthday! You’re not getting older; you’re increasing in value, like a fine wine or a classic car.
Congratulations on another year of surviving life’s curveballs. You’re doing great!
Another year older, and yet you still haven’t aged a day… mentally.
Here’s to another year of pretending to be a responsible adult. Cheers!
Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number, but maturity is optional.
May your birthday be as unforgettable as the passwords you create.
You’re not getting older; you’re just becoming a classic. Happy birthday, vintage friend!
Wishing you a day as bright as your future, which is looking suspiciously dim.
Happy birthday! You’re so young at heart that your knees creak in solidarity.
Cheers to a new year of pretending that you have it all together!
May your birthday be as smooth as your selfie filters.
Another year older and wiser? Well, at least you’re older.
Happy birthday! You’ve aged gracefully, just like a cheese left out in the sun.
Congratulations on surviving another year of your life choices. You deserve an award.
May your birthday cake be as sweet as your lies about your age.
Another year, another reminder that you can’t escape the relentless march of time. Enjoy!
Here’s to a birthday filled with surprises, like remembering where you left your keys.
Age is just a number, but in your case, it’s a very big number. Happy birthday!
May your birthday be as pleasant as a long line at the DMV.
Happy birthday! You’ve officially reached an age where your candles cost more than your cake.
Another year older means another year closer to retirement… or not. Enjoy your day!
Here’s to a birthday that’s just as ordinary as you are. Cheers!
Happy birthday! May your day be filled with as much excitement as a tax audit.
You’re not old; you’re just vintage. Embrace the rust!
Another year, another opportunity to make the same mistakes. Happy birthday!
May your birthday be as unforgettable as your New Year’s resolutions.
Happy birthday! You’re not over the hill; you’re on top of it, waving down at youth.
Here’s to celebrating the anniversary of your 29th birthday… for the 10th time. Cheers!
Happy birthday! Your age is merely the number of years the world has been deprived of your wisdom.
Another year older and still no sign of adulting. Keep up the great work!
May your birthday be as epic as your Google search history.
Here’s to aging gracefully, or at least trying to without falling over. Cheers!
Happy birthday! You’re like a fine wine - you get better with age, but only if I don’t drink you.
Congratulations on reaching an age where your back goes out more often than you do.
Another year, another layer of wisdom… or was it wrinkles? Oh well, enjoy!
May your birthday be as bright as your future plans, which are, of course, top secret.
Happy birthday! Your secrets are safe with your age; they’re both impossible to guess.
Wishing you a day filled with surprises, like remembering where you put your glasses.
You’re not old; you’re just chronologically gifted. Embrace it!
Another year of surviving your own cooking. Bravo!
May your birthday cake have more candles than the power outage last week.
Happy birthday! Age is just a number, but it’s a number that’s getting larger for you.
Here’s to a birthday that’s as memorable as your last three social media posts.
Another year older, but are you any wiser? Let’s find out!
May your day be as trouble-free as your teenage years… or not!
Happy birthday! You’ve officially reached the age where your metabolism gives up.
You’re not aging; you’re marinating. Happy birthday, seasoned friend!
Another year of pretending to be an adult. When does the ‘having it all together’ part start?
May your birthday be as wild as your hair in the morning.
Happy birthday! You’re not just a year older; you’re a year more legendary.
Here’s to celebrating the anniversary of your 29th birthday… again. You’re a pro at this!
Another year, another opportunity to blame your age for forgetting things.
May your birthday be as productive as the last time you binged an entire TV series.
Happy birthday! You’re not old; you’re just well-seasoned.
Another year older means another year of awesomeness. Keep it up!
May your birthday cake be as sweet as your excuses for not aging.
Happy birthday! You’ve reached an age where your candles set off the smoke detector.
Another year, another chance to pretend that getting older isn’t a big deal. Cheers to that!
Happy birthday! May your day be as unpredictable as your Wi-Fi signal.
Another year older, and you’re still the same fabulous hot mess. Cheers to consistency!
May your birthday be as magical as the unicorn you’ve been searching for since childhood.
Happy birthday! Your age is like fine wine - it’s expensive and nobody knows what to do with it.
Another year wiser, or is it just more gray hairs trying to impart wisdom? You decide!
May your birthday be as thrilling as reading terms and conditions… twice.
Happy birthday! You’ve reached an age where ‘getting lucky’ means finding your keys.
Here’s to a birthday that’s as epic as your attempts to start a diet… every Monday.
Another year older, another year of perfecting the art of sarcasm. Well done!
May your birthday cake have more layers than your complicated relationship status.
Happy birthday! You’re not aging; you’re just upgrading to a more vintage version of yourself.
Another year of being fabulous, sarcastic, and totally lovable. Keep being you!
May your day be as organized as your sock drawer, or in other words, a total mess.
Happy birthday! Age is just a number, but yours is starting to resemble a math problem.
You’re not getting older; you’re leveling up. Time to unlock some new achievements!
Another year of pretending to be an adult… with occasional adulting failures. It happens!
May your birthday be as drama-free as a reality TV show… or not!
Happy birthday! You’ve officially reached the age where your back talks back.
You’re not old; you’re vintage, like a classic car that can’t go over speed bumps.
Another year of adventures in adulting. How’s that going for you?
May your birthday be as relaxing as scrolling through your endless to-do list.
Happy birthday! You’re not aging; you’re just collecting experience points.
Another year older, and you’re still the life of the party. Keep the celebrations rolling!
May your birthday cake be as sweet as your victory when finding a parking spot.
Happy birthday! You’ve officially reached the age where your hair is the wisest part of you.
Another year, another chance to deny that you’re entering the ‘vintage’ category.
May your day be as interesting as your social media posts… which is saying a lot!
Happy birthday! You’re not old; you’re just chronologically challenged.
Another year, another opportunity to blame your age for everything. Go for it!
May your birthday be as smooth as your excuses for staying up past bedtime. Enjoy!
Special delivery is set for you today. A box filled with sarcasm, a pail of trouble, and a load of mischief which I normally get from you. Happy birthday!
Do you know why today is special? It’s time to commemorate the day you blast out from your mom’s uterus. Your mother was screaming with glee. Happy birthday!
Having a little sister has always been a dream of mine. Someone I can share secrets with and trade clothes with. Thank you for making that dream a reality. Happy birthday, bro!
Is it your birthday again? Do you know what is the equivalent of your age to dog years? You don’t want to know. Happy birthday. Make the most of your doggy years.
I heard that birthdays are an excellent excuse to drink and get wasted. I’m in. This is only because you are paying the bill. Happy birthday, drink buddy!
I love it when friends have their birthdays. I got to enjoy the party and live large for a day without worrying about the bill. My problem will just be the hangover the next day. Happy birthday, friend!
Happy birthday, troublemaker! May you be blessed with long life to do whatever you desire. May it be kissing someone’s ass or robbing a bank or two. But please, don’t get caught.
I know you are up all day, refreshing your Facebook page. You were hoping for birthday greetings from your crushes. I am not your crush, but I hope this makes you smile. Happy birthday, low-key stalker.
Year after year, a candle is added to your birthday cake. I guess you are not considered young anymore. A bit childish, but not young. Happy birthday and let’s try to grow up this year.
People ask me what best describes you. I gave it a lot of thought, and here’s my answer. You are one unique individual. Uniquely immature, naughty and ill-disciplined. The only good thing about you is me. Happy birthday, lucky bastard!
I am picky with making friends and staying friends with people. I just can’t handle stupidity. Thank God you survived the elimination process. It means you are not stupid. Happy birthday.
I officially declare this day as the annual Let’s Drink and Be Merry Day. Great plan, right? Now, leave all your schedules today and let’s get started. Happy birthday!
Since it’s your natal day, I tried to think and write down all the good things about you to make you a special birthday message. It’s been an hour, and my paper is still blank. Happy birthday! You are indescribable.
How amazing it is that you have survived all those years here on earth. Or should I say, good job to your friends and family that still accepts you? Happy birthday, nutcase!
I used to think you were the most interesting, appealing and creative person I knew. Well, that is before I discovered Pinterest. Don’t worry; you are in second place. Happy birthday.
Short Birthday SMS for Friend with cool images
Others would say that age doesn’t matter. Or that age is irrelevant when you are happy with your life. Don’t believe that! You are getting old, and I’m sorry about that. Happy birthday!
I will not believe you until you show me your birth certificate. Do birth certificates even existed back then or they just scribble on the stone walls? Happy birthday, Stone Age human.
I know you must be sick and tired of people making fun of your age. I will not add to your dilemma. My mom always tells me to be respectful to the elderly. Happy birthday, old folk!
I made an extra effort for your birthday this year. I posted a lot of earnest birthday messages on your Facebook. I even told my family and friends to give it a thumbs up. Happy birthday, my most-likely popular friend.
You might be a little sad today for leaving your youth years behind. Brush off that sadness and let’s get drinking. Booze keeps you young… at heart! Happy birthday!
If I had to describe to you today, I would say you are an angel. But being untruthful is bad. You may not be an angel but you are surely extraordinary. Happy birthday!
You got this one whole night to enjoy and have a wickedly good time. If I were you, I will take advantage and party like there’s no tomorrow. Happy birthday, party animal!
I see it’s your birthday and we are all happy for you. But let me say, I have expectations too. I expect to get invited for drinks and a cool party. Happy birthday from your guest of honor.
We complement each other. Me with my oozing charisma and quick wit, and you with your knack of finding a trustworthy friend. We can rule the world. Happy birthday, partner!
If it’s my birthday, I would make it an excuse to get drunk and wasted. But sadly it’s not. Hey, birthday boy. It’s up to you. Happy birthday!
We have cleared our schedules for today because we know that you are just dying to throw a fabulous party. We are here and ready to party! Happy birthday.
I read somewhere that age is all in the mind. If that is, in fact, true then I presume that our bodies hadn’t gotten the memo. Happy birthday, old person.
I always wonder why would someone wants to celebrate getting a year older after they reached the age of twenty-five. Nonetheless, I will not say no to free food and drinks. Happy birthday!
Change is unavoidable. But looking at you now, you haven’t changed in years. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, happy birthday is in order.
Do you know what the gauge of friendship is? It’s remembering your friend’s birthday even without Facebook’s notification. You are lucky I have a sharp memory. Happy birthday!
Can you believe you survive all those years putting up with me? Well, you should, since I put up with all your messes too. Happy birthday, buddy.
Happy birthday, scalawag. Almost every day of my life, you have brought nothing but sarcasm and trouble. You will be getting that and more today. Enjoy!
I normally hate surprises. It’s with the great inconvenience that I am coming to your surprise party tonight. Please serve good food to compensate for my sacrifice. Happy birthday.
You are my kindest and the most gorgeous friend. Lying is acceptable on birthdays. A little white lie will get you invited to the party. Happy birthday.
Giving you false hope is not my intention. So I am going to be straightforward and inform you that I am here for the birthday cake. Happy birthday.
On birthdays, getting older is mandatory while getting wiser is optional. So if you are not getting the latter one, don’t fret. Maybe next year, you will get lucky. Happy birthday.
I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but getting older doesn’t mean you are getting wiser. Some of us just stay the same. Happy birthday and cheers to immature people like us.
Can we have a grown-up party this year? Ditch the orange juice and lemonade. We deserve some champagne action with wine and caviar. Happy birthday, sensible guy.
I am not sure if I should greet you Happy birthday. You might not happy about spending all your money on treating us for a fine dinner. Have a fun spending birthday!
If I will be your fairy godmother for a day, I will grant all your heart’s longings. Namely; donuts, ice cream, hot men and fast cars. Happy birthday, mischief-maker.
Drop by the drugstore and get some hangover pills. You will surely need it tomorrow after this awesome party we are going to have. Happy birthday, hangover buddy!
Happy birthday. I can honestly tell you that I am so excited for your birthday. Not just because it’s your birthday, but the anticipation of having a party in the finest places in the city. No pressure!
Thank God we have Facebook nowadays to remind us that it’s your birthday. Just scroll down your Facebook wall and you will find my heartfelt message. Happy birthday!
In our friendship, we accept each other’s flaws and shortcomings. So don’t be concern about your appearance and level of IQ. I am perfectly happy with you for as long as you buy me a sumptuous dinner. Happy birthday!
We share birthdays with a million others in the world. But you can be uniquely different by throwing a lavish party. Just a piece of suggestion from me. Happy birthday.
I was about to bake you a birthday cake. Then I remembered, that I don’t know how and I hate baking. So I wish my intention to bake a cake is enough to show you I love you. Happy birthday!
My plan for your birthday is karaoke night with your family and friends. I wonder if you will still have neighbors after hearing your golden voice all night. Happy birthday, my songbird!
We promise not to probe you about your real age if you promise to keep the cake and sparkling wine coming for the remainder of the week. Deal? Happy birthday!
Many people your age is still doing what they love to do. So please don’t use your age as a reason for not having fun. Happy birthday, old fart.
I believe congratulations are the more appropriate greeting for you today. Congratulation for staying alive and getting older. The older you get, the cynical you are. Happy birthday!
Hilarious, smart and stunning. I know I am all of that and more, but enough about that. Let’s talk about you. Happy birthday from your gorgeous friend!
Browsing through the internet to buy you a gift. PS2 console, designer watch or the latest Birkin bag? Then I realized that you love receiving thoughtful messages. So here goes. Happy birthday!
It’s nobody’s fault. We haven’t discovered the fountain of youth or invented the time machine. Growing old is still the norm. Get used to it. Happy birthday!
I am here to console you in this grieving time. I know it’s hard and difficult to let go, but we have to move on. Goodbye youth. Happy birthday!
Don’t act like you have grown wiser. The phrase getting older and wiser does not apply to everyone. You only got fifty percent of that phrase. Happy birthday!
I understand that you can’t relate to kids nowadays with their online games and virtual pets. I mean what is more fun than having a pet dinosaur, right? Happy birthday, prehistoric human.
Let’s weigh the pros and cons of getting older. You are a year nearer in getting your senior citizen discount. Now, I don’t know where I should put this. Is it a pro or a con? You decide. Happy birthday!
You are bright, fantastic, astonishing and a load full of superlatives. But the most important quality you have is your generous heart. Happy birthday and I was kidding.
Can you recollect the last time I said that you are one amazing human? If you don’t, I guess your memory is waning. Happy birthday and better list this down for future reference.
I know you can’t help it if you get forgetful at times. But please, don’t ever forget to feed us with a birthday cake. Throw in some bubbly champagne while you’re at it. Happy birthday.
The wonders of getting old. The more candles on top of your cake, the lesser the hair on top of your head. Happy birthday! At least, you can cross out shampoo in the grocery list.
Happy birthday! Please keep that beaming smile of yours throughout the year. We are not certain when those real teeth going to retire. So smile, fake teeth or not.
Congratulations! At least, we won’t be saying the phrase Gone too soon.. Happy birthday, old fogey! You can overstay all you want in this materialistic world.
What is worse than getting old? Well, you could be six feet under. So stop mopping around and take us to a fancy restaurant. Happy birthday, old hag.
I am having second thoughts of putting all those candles on your birthday cake. We just celebrated Fire Prevention Month and the forest park is just a stone’s throw away. Its better be safe than sorry. Happy birthday!
I apologize that this birthday message is so late. It caught me off guard that a person can live this long. Happy birthday, almost centennial guy!
No amount of hair dyes can hide those silver-gray hairs of yours. Might as well flaunt it to the world. Happiest birthday, my silver girl!
Another year. Another prescription. A growing number of maintenance drugs coming your way. Well, you better take those arthritis pills ‘coz we’re going to dance the night away. Happy birthday!
My wish is for your phone to hang up because it could no longer handle the surge of birthday notifications coming from your admirers. Happy birthday, my famous friend.
I heard that some years ago, on this very day, you were born. Cheers on not messing it up. At least you got one achievement under your belt. Happy birthday.
Is it your birthday today? I thought it was April Fool’s day. Anyway, happy birthday. Don’t be fooled by people giving you compliments today. They are just after the free booze.
Dear friend, if you still haven’t got a girlfriend a year from now, I will make you an account on this dating website I discovered. You will surely be a hit. Happy birthday.
It’s proven that you can’t have everything in this world. In your case, do you want a long life or be wealthy. You can be rich today but be dead tomorrow. Happy birthday!
My wish when I was a child was to have a smart, good-looking and hardworking little sister. I don’t think God got my memo. Oh, well. Happy birthday, dear sister.
It has been so hard looking for a perfect gift for you. You got everything. Good looks, brains and most importantly, you are related to me. Happy birthday, lucky sibling.
Happy birthday, sis. I hope you get yourself a dedicated boyfriend who can deal with your weirdness. This is like finding a pin in a haystack. Good luck!
It gives me a sense of accomplishment every time your birthday comes. I feel so proud of myself for enduring your existence. I pray that God will be my strength to endure more years with you. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday. Please don’t expect a surprise from me. I am just a bystander here. But I kept my calendar clear in case you need one more guest at the party I hope you’re having.
I know you don’t have any plans yet, but just in case you do. My party outfit is ready in the trunk of my car. Just tell me where and when. Happy birthday.
As your trusted ally, my tip for you today is to ditch your schedules and meetings today. Let’s hit the nearest bar and drink all day. I will buy drinks for everyone. Just kidding. You are still paying the bill. Happy birthday!
Maturity does not come with age. So don’t worry if yours is still nowhere to be found. We can be immature together. Happy birthday from your sidekick.
Authentic nice guys are hard to find in this city. That is why on behalf of the mayor, I would like to give honor to your Dad for being one of them. Not you, of course! Happy birthday.
You are my oldest, I mean, dearest friend. White strands of hair may appear but nothing a hair dye can’t fix. You might need to start taking maintenance medicine with your knees now and then. Happy birthday!
Your sugar level may be unstable and your cholesterol is off charts, but it doesn’t mean we can’t have fun. So we will just be serving some sugar-free and fat-free food, who cares? Happy birthday, old sport!
Birthday blues are hard especially when you’re experiencing mid-life crisis. Not to worry, I have gin and ice in the cooler ready for your signal. Happy birthday, brother.
You were my teacher of mischief when we were small. Always getting me into trouble with the parents. Any luck with changing your ways? Happy birthday, silly!
The number of your gray hairs does not come close to the number of people that loves you. So don’t you dare dye those grays out. Happy birthday, silver phoenix.
We, your friend and family, have come into a consensus that we will no longer put up with your antics. Better put an ad in the newspaper for new friends and family. Happy hunting birthday!
The gray hairs, the body aches, the memory loss and so many other things to look forward to. Aren’t you just excited? I bet you do. Happy birthday.
I always say that it is better to get thinning hair than a thinning wallet. Happy birthday. Imagine all the money you can save from not buying hair products.
Happy birthday, best friend. As your best friend, I am immune to your annoying ways. I even find it endearing. But please try to be less annoying around new people.
Happiest birthday, my frustrated comic. I promise to laugh at all your jokes no matter how lame it is. For as long as you promised to treat me to a lavish dinner every birthday you have.
I got the juiciest news on your birthday. I saw your ex with his new girlfriend the other day. He surely got a downgrade. Poor guy! Happy birthday, my dazzling friend.
Every time your birthday draws near, I pat myself on the back and say, great job on surviving yet another year with you. Happy birthday, psycho.
Don’t count the wrinkles on your face. Nor the silver-gray hairs. Just count the money bills in your wallet. Oh, your wallet is empty? Then go back to counting the wrinkles. Happy birthday, oldie!
Don’t forget to pack your dancing shoes today. We are going dancing before you break your hip bone from osteoporosis. I heard that is common for aging people. Happy birthday, dance partner.
Happy birthday! You think that you are so clever not putting your birthdate on your Facebook account. You might get away from Facebook’s birthday reminder. But I have your birth certificate. Better treat me today or else?
Happy birthday, chum! We never seemed to run out of embarrassing moments whenever I’m with you. I don’t know if I’m the jinx or you are. I think it’s you.
I always worry that you will end up in a jail somewhere. So we better make this birthday feels like your last one as a free man. Happy birthday, rascal.
You know I love you, right? I might have been brainwashed by our parents when I was little but I love you just the same. Happy birthday, little brother!
The amount of liquor we should drink tonight should coincide with your number of years here on the planet. That means we will be stinking drunk by the end of the night. Happy birthday!
Friendship doesn’t cost a dime. It’s open for everyone with a welcoming heart. But I’m sorry to say that mine is not. Better book us dinner in a fine restaurant or I’m the door. Happiest birthday, best friend.
You look like a delicate little princess. So meek and demure. Appearance can be so deceiving. The moment you open your mouth, illusions are shattered. Happy birthday, blabbermouth.
As expected, your social media feed will be swarming of well-wishers wishing you good health or happiness. But my only aspiration is for you to not lose me as your best friend. Let’s see. Happy birthday.
I went everywhere and inquire people closest to you to define you using three adjectives. They can only come up with one word, and that is crazy. I mean the word crazy. Happy birthday, crazy buddy.
Don’t care about draining your savings today. Your ultimate goal today is to beat last year’s birthday party. This is vital for keeping your reputation. Happy birthday!
The toughest thing I have ever done is to try to figure you out. Are you sure you are from planet earth? Maybe an asteroid had carried you here from some far galaxy. Happy birthday, weirdo!
My life would have been calmer without you. No surprise calls in the middle of the night just because you can’t sleep. No one will barge in the house and take ownership of the TV remote. Happy birthday, annoying best friend!
I love annoying you, especially on your birthday. It’s my great dream to get back at you for all the annoying things you did to me the whole year-round. Happy birthday and you better watch out!
The probability of you getting a gift from me is pretty slim. This is probably because I didn’t get any gift from you on my birthday. But I don’t hold grudges. I will still greet you Happy birthday, cheapskate.
Oh my God! Is it finally here? The one day out of three hundred sixty-five days in a year where you willingly treat me for a decent dinner. Happy birthday, stingy!
Happy birthday! I am writing this to document that I actually greeted you on your birthday. There might be some cases of memory loss and I don’t want to take a chance.
Happy birthday. You might lose so many things in the coming years. Hair loss. Teeth loss. Memory loss. Bone density loss. Dignity loss. But I assure you that you will never lose me even if you try.
I don’t believe in the saying that birds with the same feathers flocked together. I mean how can I when you are always tailing me? Happy birthday, stalker!
I know you don’t want to grow up. You don’t want responsibilities. But, hey! It’s official. You are too old to still live with your parents. Happy birthday, soon-to-be homeless person.
Happy birthday, spoiled brat! Maybe it’s time for you to find a real job so you can spoil us instead. A grand dinner for your birthday paid by yourself and not by your parents. What do you think?
When we were in college, you were the heartthrob. All the girls on the campus had a major crush on you. But, what happened? No luck in the real world, eh? Happy birthday demoted heartthrob.
Do you know what karma is? That’s what happens to your face. Better change your nasty ways fast or else, another year of misfortune. Start by buying me dinner. Happy birthday.
You were my ultimate crush back end the days. Your name is ever-present in my diary. But just like technology, system upgrades are necessary. Happy birthday, ex-crush.
Happy birthday. You are one independent gal. Taking the world by storm with your wittiness and brutal honesty. I want to honestly say to you that I don’t have a gift but I am willing to attend your party.
I am always in awe with your ability to get out of a sticky situation. But don’t bother getting out of treating me for dinner. It either that or this will be your last birthday. Happiest birthday, sucker!
I find disdainful how people seem to be more gracious on your birthday. Sucking up to get invited to the party. Well, not me. Happy birthday, my most handsome and generous friend of all.
Please be warned that not all the things that you hear people say to you particularly on your birthday are real or that they meant it. Oh common. Do you believe you look like Chris Hemsworth? Happy birthday, ambitious Thor!
Happy birthday. Before anything else, I just want to confirm if there’s a party and if I’m invited. There’s a gift put on hold ready to be canceled or checked-out. It’s your call.
You are like an angel that descended from heaven. But I guess, you fell face first. Nevertheless, an angel just the same. Happy birthday, my guardian angel.
I am the only friend that you have. If you still want to keep me as your friend, I have reserved an expensive restaurant for dinner. I just need your credit card. Happy birthday.
You can’t help it if you compare yourself to me. It will just break your heart. So for your birthday, I will try not to be so awesome. Happy birthday.
You used to be my cute chubby little sister. Well, you are still all that except for cute. That was the important one. Happy birthday, plump petite sister.
You are the same little rascal of a brother ever since you were born. Still spreading menace everywhere you go. Be thankful that our parents programmed to loves each other, no matter what. Happy birthday.
The amount of time you spend in the mirror fixing yourself should be used in more productive things. Like for example, finding a job. Happy birthday, lazybones.
The more you think about it, the more it will become real. So don’t think about turning fifty. Just think about what food you are going to feed us tonight. Happy birthday.
The thought of not being your friend anymore gives me the greatest relief. I don’t have to deal with your immaturity anymore. Happy birthday, my soon-to-be ex-friend.
It would be my biggest regret if I will not be able to see you on your natal day. It would be my only chance to bully you and you can’t be mad about it. Happy birthday.
You don’t say mean things about the person having a birthday. But making up lies is not my thing either. So I am cutting this message short and just say happy birthday.
You are so fortunate to have me as your best friend. So to show your gratitude, I am perfectly willing for you to take me out to dinner and pay for it, of course. Happy birthday.
I have been waiting for more than a decade now for my free dinner from you. I will pay for the dessert if that is not too much to ask. Happy birthday.
Surround yourself with beauty and splendor. You needed it to uplift your essence. If only I am there, you don’t have to do it. Happy birthday, pretty thing.
I guess we need to load up on some anti-wrinkle creams, hair dyes, and muscle pain killers. These are now essentials for an aging fellow like yourself. Happy birthday, Gramps!
Before, you always look forward to this day. Even reminding everyone in the neighborhood a week before the actual date. Why can’t I find you now? I promise I will not kid about your age. Happy birthday, senior.
Why are people afraid of getting old? Don’t be. There are so many benefits. You got a special seat on the trains and buses. Happy birthday, old fellow.
We have been friends since we were crawling. And I think, we will still be friends until we go back to crawling. Happy birthday, batchmate.
Better get used to people shouting in your ears. The youngster nowadays assumes all old people are deaf. Don’t get offended. It is part of the territory. Happy birthday.
Getting a job is one thing. Staying in a job is another. Hope this year will grant you a job that stays with you for a long time. Happy birthday, hard worker.
Your only job for today is to reach out of your wallet when the waiter hands over the bill. You can do that, right? Or do I have to give you a detailed memo? Happy birthday.
Greeting someone on his birthday is a lot cheaper now compared to twenty years ago. You don’t have to buy a gift or a birthday card. Just a shout-out on Facebook will do. Happy birthday, your Facebook friend.
Think about it. If you treat me for dinner, I will not post a birthday greeting on your Facebook page. Therefore, people will not know and ask you for a treat. Happy birthday, your accomplice.
Do you know the purpose of birthdays? The sole purpose is the celebrant to do the honors of paying for our dinner in a fancy restaurant. That is it. Happy birthday.
I have received so many disappointments this year. Please don’t add to the list. I am so excited for your birthday dinner. Do not disappoint me. Happy birthday, your hungry guest.
Happy birthday, mate. My wish for you is a lot of happiness. A lot but not too much. As they say, too much of anything is bad. Only the right amount to keep that smile on your face.
You are the type of person that doesn’t like long speeches, tight hugs, and wet kisses. I’m sorry but you are getting all those today. Happy birthday.
You think you outsmarted us all by not indicating your birthdate on Facebook. Well, you’re out of luck. I went to City Hall and got a copy of your birth certificate. Happy birthday, smarty pants.
Finally, you are now eligible to apply for a senior citizen card. The perks are marvelous. It would almost make you wish, you turn a year older decades ago. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday. My wish is to find a cake big enough to fit all your candles on top of it. I need to consult the Guinness World Records for that.
Happy birthday, pretty little thing. May your looks never wane because that’s the only decent thing about you. You need to work on that attitude, girl!