Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages and Greetings

Are you greeting someone this holiday season? Why don’t you add a bit of humor and fun to your holiday greetings? After all, the holidays are about having fun, right? Whether you are sending it to your friend, relative, family member, or anyone you know, adding some humor to your greeting is the way to go. But we know it’s not easy to write a funny and humorous message. So, to help you with this, refer to this list of Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages, and Greetings.

Funny Christmas Wishes

Don’t have too much fun this Christmas, darling. Always check your bills, okay? Merry Christmas!

I am not asking for anything, just give me cash. It would complete my Christmas. Wishing for the best Christmas for a generous person like you. Wink!

There’s truly magic in Christmas, for my savings were suddenly gone. Where could it have gone to? Merry Christmas to those who were still able to have some of their savings left. You’re a legend!

Christmas is the time we gather together with the special people in our life. It brought warmth and happiness to our hearts. So, make sure you will be spending Christmas with me so that your life will be wonderful. Merry Christmas!

Shout out loud this Christmas so that Santa will notice your naughty face. Who knows, you might be included in his lists on who he shouldn’t give presents to. Merry Christmas!

Children spend Christmas with pure happiness. We, adults, spend it while trying to forget about the credit card bills arriving, possibly soon. Merry Christmas. Let’s make use of our expenses!

Enjoy Christmas, like tasting all the foods on the table, or else you might regret neglecting the food when Christmas is over. Merry Christmas! Ear well!


Sponsored Links


I’ve found what does Xmas means. It is for those lazy people who don’t go to church every Christmas, X for cancel, mas for mass. I know it’s corny. Ha-ha.

You need to groom yourself this Christmas. Children might mistake you for Santa. Merry Christmas, Santa Clause-oops sorry.

Oh boy. I think you will not end up on Santa Clause good list this Christmas. Anyway, better luck next time. May you still have a merry Christmas.

People have different experiences this year. Some had a great year, while others are not. Some are working too much with their asses while others spend sleeping, eating, and pooping almost always. And I think, you are the best example of the latter. Just kidding. Merry Christmas!

I pleaded to Santa to fill your socks with cash because, despite your bad attitude, you’ve been good some time in your life. But he ended erasing me on his list. I think it’s time I should distance myself from you. Haha.

I hope Santa will give you wings this Christmas. So you can fly high and be free just like what you wanted and might as well so that you can disappear in my sight forever. Merry Christmas, to you!

You know, stop waiting to receive presents from your Godfather and Godmother. You are giving them too much pressure on how to hide properly. I pity them.

I hope this Christmas you will feel loser. Merry Christmas!


Sponsored Links


One of the important rules in Christmas. Eat as long as you can, but don’t ever forget to leave some to others, or else you will be facing a bunch of hungry monsters. Merry Christmas!

Dear Santa, don’t work too much this holiday, okay? You might exhaust yourself to death and forget to give me my presents. I will surely hate you. Have a Merry Christmas!

Does Santa give cash other than toys? I hope he does so I can pay for my debts after the Holiday Season. Oh, it would really be great!

Be sure to be good this season and wish for your singlehood to end this year. Merry Christmas!

Christmas is the day of giving, but only for those who don’t have credit card bills. Okay? Merry Christmas!

Christmas is the season of giving; it is also a season of receiving gifts. So where’s my gift? Merry Christmas, by the way!

You are too good to receive girls from Santa. So you are better off single all your life. Merry Christmas, buddy!

Funny Christmas Messages

Christmas is not just all about having fun but also the time to be generous. So where’s my gift? Merry Christmas! I am good with bills!


Sponsored Links


Dear God, this whole holiday season I am planning to wear green. I hope you got my message and sent me tons of bills! Thanks in advance!

Let us all feel the spirit of Christmas and the spirit of alcohol! Merry Christmas, everyone!

Dear Santa, I don’t want any presents this Christmas let it be a thing or cash, just please wash the dishes in our sink. Will you do that for me? Please.

I receive a message from Santa, saying that I have been very naughty this year. I replied, and I had so much fun!

I have been contemplating what I should give you as a present. I have been thinking for too long now the Christmas is over. So, maybe I will just give you my present next Christmas.

A kiss with a tongue is enough for me, darling. It is the best gift. You don’t even have to spend money. Wink!

I have already sent you the sizes of my shirts, feet, and waist! Just in case you needed it. Merry Christmas!

I wonder why we should give a gift to one another when it is Jesus’ birthday. Shouldn’t we give it to him? Ahh, he can’t have it, then why bother buying gifts?

Christmas in my home is really as lively as the Christmas lights. So, does anyone want to come to my party tonight? I’m alone. So alone.

We believe in Santa Claus when we were young. We realized he doesn’t exist anymore when we were growing older. We then became Santa Clause when we became an adult. I guess Santa is real, then.

I hope Santa Claus had the same power as Naruto, where he can multiply himself so that he could have a faster production and distribution of gifts. Don’t you think it’s great?

Christmas is to have fun, not to drown yourselves in debt. Be careful.

Dear godfather and godmother, I am already out hunting you around. Be sure to show yourself, or else I will not receive any gifts this Christmas!

Christmas is the time to be grateful and cherish all the blessings we receive because everything is just temporary. Like our money.

I hope Santa will go down in your room and give you a slap as a present for not giving me anything this Christmas!

I have received a message from Santa giving me a gift, but he included “carriage is damaged, pay for the shipping fee.”

Stop hoping for Santa. Haven’t you notice how white his hairs are? He is dying!

I have lots of your stolen photos, so better come here or else you will receive the best gift you could ever have this Christmas. Merry Christmas!

We could only reunite with our family every Christmas, so just endure it, okay? Have fun this Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Him

Merry Christmas! Can’t wait to meet you and be my clown this Christmas! I’m so freaking excited!

Someone woke up first thing in the morning to check his sock instead of me. Greeting you a Merry Christmas still.

I hope Santa will fill your socks with bills so you could have a lot of money to spend on our Christmas! Merry Christmas!

I don’t want your sweet messages, sweet kisses, and hugs. I want a present. Don’t you dare forget about it!

You know what will happen if you will throw a snowball at me. We want to celebrate this Christmas peacefully and happily, yes? May we have that.

What do you want, a table full of my kisses or a table full of delicious foods? Better make the right choice, love. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Her

If ever, I will forget my presents for you, I will just give them to you, next Christmas. What do you think? It’s better right? Merry Christmas!

You will only get a headache in going to the club. Just spend your Christmas with me, and your head will be full of our sweet love moments. Merry Christmas, baby!

May you enjoy your Christmas this year, but may you also notice the bills I am paying, too. Merry Christmas!

Waiting for Santa this night is not cool at all. Waiting for you wearing a red nightdress is hotter. Merry Christmas!

Santa asked me what I wanted to receive from him. I said to give you money so that we will be dividing our expenses tonight. Just kidding, love. Merry Christmas!

I have no cash to bring you to beautiful places, but I have a room where I can keep you entertained tonight. It’s a better deal, isn’t it?

I want to tell God I want nothing as long as you are with me, but I can’t survive in this world without cash, darling!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends

Stop hoping for Santa, friend. You are too old to be included in his list. Merry Christmas!

You are at the level of your life, where you become the Santa, instead, of a kid waiting for Santa. It’s okay, friend. I feel you. May we still receive presents this Christmas.

Good luck on waiting for your wishes that might not come true. Keep strong, friend. Merry Christmas.

Wishing you a green Christmas this year. If you don’t have any green in your wallet, then work your ass off. I won’t give you anything.

You know that my favorite color is green, right? So I love seeing green and receiving green presents. Especially, the green bills! Merry Christmas, friend. Please, wish me a life full of green in my wallet.

The holiday season is the only time I love eating chocolate cakes after Christmas. So, please leave me some cakes after Christmas. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Girlfriend/Boyfriend

We only need a long white beard, and you will look like Santa. A big fat guy whom I love. Merry Christmas!

You are the greatest and biggest blessing I received in my life. With your 200 pounds of weight, don’t ever get drunk this Christmas, okay. I wouldn’t be able to carry you. Merry Christmas, babe!

I got Santa’s list, and I am not there. I know I have been naughty this year, and it was because of you! Now you have to be my Santa this year. A loving Santa, of course. Merry Christmas, babe!

Your name has been missing from all of Santa’s lists. I told it might have got lost in my heart. He searched and truly find it here. Merry Christmas!

I hope Santa will wrap you like my present for Christmas and deliver you to my room at midnight. Or you can just climb in the window. Wink! Merry Christmas!

Your table may be full of sweets, like chocolate cakes or fruit salad, your Christmas wouldn’t be sweeter without me. So, you should include me in your list of foods. Merry Christmas, love!

One rule this Christmas, don’t get drunk. I am not there to guard you against flirty girls. Merry Christmas! May you remember my killer eyes every time you look at the glass or bottle of brandy.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Husband/Wife

I only have one rule for you this Christmas, don’t drink, or I’ll dump you in the trash can. You are heavier now, honey. So please be considerate! Anyway, Merry Christmas to you.

Christmas for you may be all about making it fun as much as possible, but for me, it is all about how should I let you spend my earnings and savings that it can still sustain us next year.

Our routine every Christmas is to have fun as much as possible. Preparing the most delicious foods and thinking about the credit bills later when the fun was over. Merry Christmas!

Christmas is indeed full of magic. Because aside from my savings would suddenly gone, you suddenly become sweeter, too! And your food is tastier than the usual foods you cook! Merry Christmas, love!

Let’s drink to the fullest because this will be the only time we can drink like we used to be and get drunk until we admit to all our sins. Then forget everything when morning comes. That would be great, don’t you agree?

This should be a day to go to church and enjoy. Instead, here I am stuck in the kitchen. What a Merry Christmas day!

The season of husbands getting broke has finally come. You should take this time to rest, hubbies. Merry Christmas to all wives responsible for their broke husbands.

Funny Christmas Greetings

Merry Christmas, grumpy. Time to stretch the frown on your forehead and put a smile on your lips or else you will look like an old grumpy Santa.

I know it’s hard to enjoy Christmas when your wallet had gone empty. But you have to keep fighting. I will pray to God to help you survive.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but who can celebrate Christmas happily without the money?

You should attend mass now. I heard Jesus give more blessings to people who go to church on his birthday.

Merry Christmas! Your decorations are really mind-blowing, and I think your credit card will be mind-blowing, as well.

I heard your mama is preparing a feast tonight. Be sure to invite us. You are already so fat to solo the foods your mom will prepare. Merry Christmas!

I think Santa should hire more elves for faster production and delivery. I don’t think the toys they made each year are enough, because I never received anything.

You can spend Christmas with me as long as you have present prepared for me.

Santa should just eliminate his elves and just give us the cash he’s paying for the elves.

Funny Christmas Quotes

Sending Christmas cards is better than any material gift. Not because it sounds sincere, but because it is cheaper.

Keeping your receipts this Christmas would help prevent confusion and the hidden mystery of lost money.

The size of the Christmas tree doesn’t matter it’s the price that does.

The fun at Christmas ends when the cleaning session arrives.

The beautiful thing about Christmas is you can buy forgiveness through gifts.

We all wish Christmas could last longer so we can take the glory of fun and postpone the thinking of how to make up to the empty wallets.

Christmas is the most awaited and wonderful season of the year and the season of empty wallets!

A friendly reminder, businessmen got richer every Christmas season because of reckless consumers.

To see is to believe, and to hear secrets to a drunk man is the most awaited part of every Christmas gathering. Remember, a responsible drinker during Christmas will be safe.

During the Holiday season, going to church is safer than going to malls. Make the right choice.